Friday, August 28, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Just two days after the inauguration, another crowd fills Washington streets, the pro-lifers who gather each year for the “March for Life.” This January 22 marks the 36th anniversary of Roe v Wade, and after so many years with little change or improvement, the nation has grown a bit blasé about this annual demonstration against abortion. We still say abortion is a “hot issue”— but if you think about it, it’s not as hot as it used to be. The abortion controversy used to command cover space on magazines, and TV networks showcased hour-long debates. You don’t see that anymore.
You could say that people just got tired of hearing about it. Year after year the two sides said mostly the same thing, and nothing much changed. Eventually, public attention was bound to sidle off to a newer, more exciting topic (gay marriage, anyone?). When attention drifted, it was the pro-choice side that had command of the status quo.
And you could say that that settles that; from now on there will be less and less talk about abortion, and we’ll just get used to things the way they are.
But I can imagine things going a different way. Not soon—maybe not till the baby boomers have passed from the scene—but it’s possible that a younger generation will see abortion very differently. And the reason is, as the saying goes, “Nobody knows when life begins.” With abortions now running around 1.2 million per year, the total number of abortions since Roe v Wade is about 49 million. That’s a big number—about a sixth of the US population. It’s a big number, if you’re not absolutely sure that it’s *not* life.
After all, if you saw a little girl hit by a car, you’re going to yell, “Get an ambulance!” not “Get a shovel!” It’s in the very fabric of humanity to be on the side of life, if there’s the faintest hope that life exists. We don’t throw children away when we’re not sure whether they’re alive or not. And, as the pro-choice side never stops saying, it’s not that they’re positive a fetus is “not alive” – it’s that they’re not sure.
When I was a young fire-breathing college feminist in the early 70’s, we didn’t see abortion as a melancholy private decision—it was an act of liberation. By choosing abortion, a woman could show that she was the only person in charge of her life, and bowed to no one else’s control. But this formulation turned sour as the grief felt by post-abortion woman began to accumulate. The flip side of autonomy is loneliness, and for many women, their abortion decision was linked to emotional abandonment.
And then there was the advent of ultrasound technology, enabling live images of a baby moving in the womb. In 1989, word went round the pro-life movement to order the tape of pollster Harrison Hickman’s presentation at that year’s NARAL convention. On it he said, “Nothing has been as damaging to our cause as the advances in technology which have allowed pictures of the developing fetus, because people now talk about that fetus in much different terms than they did 15 years ago. They talk about it as a human being, which is not something that I have an easy answer how to cure.”
So there are some reasons to think that the abortion question has not been settled, but has merely gone underground. That might be a necessary step. It has to go away so that it can be rediscovered, and seen in a fresh light.
I don’t expect that reconsideration soon: my Boomer generation will never see abortion as anything other than the wise and benevolent gift we bestowed on all future generations. We still control the media, the universities, and so forth, and it will take time for all of us to topple off the end of the conveyer belt.
But the time is coming when a younger generation will be in charge, and they may well see abortion differently. They could see it, not as “a woman’s choice” but as a form of state-sanctioned violence inflicted on their generation. It was their brothers and sisters who died; anyone under the age of 36 could have been aborted (and somewhere around a fourth or a fifth of all pregnancies, in fact, are aborted). A younger generation might feel a strange kinship with the brothers and sisters, classmates and coworkers, who are missing.
And I’m afraid that, if they do see things that way, they aren’t going to go easy on my generation. Our acceptance of abortion is not going to look like an understandable goof. The next generation can fairly say, “It’s not like they didn’t know.” They’ll say, “After all, they had sonograms.” And they may judge us to be monsters.
Maybe that won’t happen. Maybe future generations won’t think twice about abortion. But even we who have grown sick of talking about it still harbor some doubts. In particular, people who think of themselves as defenders of the weak and the oppressed must have many a quiet moment when they wonder, “How, in this one issue, did I wind up on the side that’s defending death?”
There’s a lot of ambivalence out there, and a lot of unspoken grief too, I think. So you never know. Pro-choice may have won the day—but sooner or later, that day will end. No generation can rule from the grave. When that time comes, another generation will sit in judgment of ours. And they are not obligated to be kind.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Maria~Angelica Zoe' did indeed deliver HERSELF at 3:05 a.m. Wednesday morning (her due date) October 19th 2005. That is a story I am not sure just how to put into words, but I will try. It was really quite something! I just sat up and there she was! The room was dark, I was laying on my side with my eyes closed. Fr. was asleep and I heard a coo. I asked Fr. if he had just made that sound. We heard a quiet cry, Fr. jumped up and I reached for the controls to lift the bed forward so I could see and there she was! A perfect little pink baby girl! The best way to describe it is I felt a wave of a contraction and she washed ashore! The nurses and doctor (who was also sleeping) were AMAZED!! They came running down the hall. They knew from the heart monitor at the nurses' station that something had happened. They could hear her little cry as they came closer to the room and they could not believe their eyes. All of the nurses said nothing like that had ever happened in all their years of nursing. The funny thing is at 2:00 am the head nurse came in to check on me and I said I felt some good pressure. The nurse said to me "don't worry babies just don't pop out!" When she came in at 3:05 we had a good laugh about that one!
I think I had a "silent birth" ! LOL!
I will never forget the mental picture I have of Maria~Angelica there on the bed so sweet and perfect. The nurse quickly grabbed a blanket and handed her to me. The baby was so warm her body just radiated heat and she smelled sooooooo good (she still smells good)! We were able to have skin to skin contact for about an hour before Fr. cut the cord. Maria~Angelica sucked her 2 middle fingers just minutes after being born. She latched on right away too. Glory be to God she is nursing beautifully. I am so grateful for everything about her. A year ago I was crying in the parking lot of the endocrinologist office because she had just bluntly told me I would never have anymore children. I never went back to that doctor. She was just one of 3 to tell me the same thing. I have never been back to any of those doctors. I was very grateful to have the 3 children I did have. I just wanted to confirm that all was well with my health. Then they day I came home from baptizing and Chrismating Alana's family I found out I was expecting! That was certainly NO coincidence! With God there are no coincidences! That was truly a miracle! For those of you that have been told the same thing I was, don't ever give up hope. Miracles DO happen! They have happened to me 4 times! Just trust the will of God and be willing to accept the will of God. Following my cancer treatment there was no guarantee I would have any children. They were all the will of God and they all came in God's perfect timing.
Maria~Angelica's birth weight was 8lbs 9oz and she is 20 inches long. she is now 8lbs 5 oz .
Throughout the pregnancy the boys would wonder if their sister would have hazel eyes and brown hair like Basil or blue eyes and blonde hair like Nicholas or brown hair and brown eyes like Jonah. Her eyes look blue and her hair is light like Nicholas.
We have given Maria~Angelica her name in honor of the Mother Of God and all the angels in heaven. Maria~Angelica's grandmothers have also been named in honor of the Mother of God and the Holy Angels. Maria is the name of Fr. Christos' mother and Angeliki is the name of my mother. We will call her both names as her first name.
Thank you all for your love, prayers and concern. We are all very excited and look forward to sharing more pictures in the days to come!